understanding us ??

i type the fucking blog jus now , and came out nth ... i was damn du lan ... some more after yesterday accident which i was blogging jus now ... i give a summary of wat happen yesterday ... i get my pay ... which my frenz know cos i ask them how to go from YCK to RTC ... i got total of 150 include my own money .... and my frenz call me to meet them in town ... i was stress and confuse mode on where to go , either to sch or to meet them .... but in the end i meet them ...then after that i went to bugis by bus and meet my frenz ben, so we went there to walk walk with him and accompany of his gf ..of cos i felt extra ...anyway aftertat , she went to work , so ben wan to go see how she work(di sio her ^^). so we went there and eat ... and i get myself a mocha villa(recommended by them), so i spent about $7 excluding gst and service charge ... eddy pay for tat for us ... i was going to return him , but forgot ... anyway ... we headed down to parklane ... and meet the other frenz... they most irritating thing tat fucking make me du lan ... is y they went to play lan without having money with them ... mean they came in a state of thinking people will lent them money ... then i return zy money of 20 which i own him .... and they went to eat dinner ... they say they no money , and eddy treat them ... eddy is a nice guy i will say, i will tell you about him later .... so we went to play lan, zy still have the 20 dollar ..yy no money .... nvm then cos yy and Zy came from vivocity for interview for job ...then we went there sta also no money liao ... then eddy ask me whether we 2 help pay for ben, yy, zy, sta .. pls lah no money still play lan, then nvm i ok lor .. i folk in the lent abit .... tthen zy keep sua me sua me , eddy and me is the always got sua ... but i the most ... then i damn piss off , u can sua me , but y use my name SU , and keep saying i Loser(SU also can say as lose) .. dota also lose, cs also lose , everything also lose , fuck lor .... is loser so wat , at least i know my limit. use people name to joke ... wat lame ... then i joke him , he cant take joke de lor ... arent patheic rite... then play till around 2am after , then we go pay for the lan , each person 12 , and eddy and me pay for them first ... (after i kana sua), i pay 32(include my 12) eddy pay 34(include his own 12) ... nvm ... they happily went out and find cir.... remember ZY still have its 20 with him ,at least yy and ben got pay, i think. then they no cir ,so they cant smoke , so they folk everything they have to buy cir, total i think $4++ not sure, they will like , "fuck lah, cant smoke how ... wah" , in my mind ... pls lah ... no money dun smoke lah dun play lan lah... but i understand they cant live without it , then i see them like this i kindly say i lent them first , 5 dOllar .... they very happy thank me thank me(when i lent them)... then slack slack .... till around 3 or 4...eddy say wan to go geylang ...every one like anything anything , so left me ... 6 people, 5 people say ok ... me , do i have a choice ... its not possible to take cab home , so EX ... then Fuck lah ... no money how to take cab also ... eddy take money and treat us ... he ah ... then went there eat, i until tat time , have not eat my dinner ... then he treat ... i also have not eat ... save money ... then eddy go find and found one, and sta like high liao by one of the gal, then wan to go, then keep asking me for money ... he and zy ask me to lent him first ... and tell me later return me ... i kindly and stupidly lent him ... and after everything ... zy tell me he will return me 2morrow ... fuck lah ... jus now say later , now say 2morrow ... then today is the 2morrow ... untill now i didnt get them money, and he told me that he will return 2morr again .... i bet he will either ans my call or tell me 2morrow again .... fuck i learn my lesson already ... i wan to get to my old selfish self again , i dun care anymore ...no money , not my problem ... i not like eddy... i agree that he is a good guy .... cos of his Character ...with poor family background .... and working so hard everyday ... kana sua everytime ... he still can treat his frenz lan and so on ... the lan 22 dollar he spent he say he treat them , i cant be so unreasonable to say the lan i must take back from them ma, since eddy treat , so i say treat them , but yy say he will return me , nvm about the 20 , i am more worry for my 50dollar which i lent to stan , zy will return me ... but the problem is when ??? ..... they treat me like dunno wat , and i treat them like good frenz , but i not as good as eddy i know ... cos he can treat u all ... i am so sorry i am such a loser , coward , stupid , patheic frenz ... without me .. life will be better i think .... so i spent on myself 7 plus 12 , 19 suppose to be ... return zy 20 .... the rest i still dunno whether is i treat them or i lent them de,20 for lan, 5 dollar for cir, 50 for the gal , total of 75 dollar on them and myself leh ... 19 dollar ... without eating dinner till now ... haiz ... eddy y r u like this , how u feel ... y dun feel the same as me , y r u so good ? ... forget it .... forget it ...fuck my life ...